15 years Baby!!!!!

It's hard to believe that 15 years have gone by since I married my man. What's harder to believe is that we are not only still married, (I say that with all seriousness!!) but I am more in love with him than ever before. There is a story here, our story, and I think deserves to be told, so here it goes.

When I got engaged I was of course excited mainly that someone really wanted to call me "wife" and I had a beautiful diamond to wear. When I said "yes" I said it fully expecting that it would never last, because that's just how I thought things were suppose to go. Nice, I know. My reasoning for even participating in this union?, well, I thought you really should be married to have kids. So that's what we did. We got married, bought a house, racked up a ton of debt, then started having babies. Marital bliss, I know. In time things got tough and so to counter the pain of life, which I couldn't seem to bear, I would live it up on the weekends. Since we didn't have a ton of money, I would skip meals or eat very little so that it wouldn't take much to get drunk and that's what I did. Eventually, this gets old and I still wasn't happy, and I could not figure out why, so it must be time for a "Divorce". This was only after 6 years. I made some phone calls and thankfully I had people who knew better then I did and encouraged me to go to a Christian counselor and if that didn't help they would help me. Needless to say, I was not excited about this, because I had already been in and out of counselor's offices and it's always the same old song and dance. Next thing I knew I was pregnant again!!!! Troy and I always wanted at least 3 kids, but with the way things were headed, this wasn't in my plan. I am a child of divorce and I didn't want to do that to my 2 kids, let alone 3. So I found myself, crying out to a God that I didn't really know at all and asking Him, what in the world are you doing? I'm doing a terrible job with what I have and now, I'm having another baby?!?! Turns out, He knew what He was doing. The plans for divorce were set aside to see how things would go with this pregnancy. Fast Forward-I had this beautiful baby and we called him Carter. After I had him, I thought I would go and try out this "Moms group" at the church where this counselor was and see what it was all about. I figured, I didn't know anyone and if they were all crazy and cultish, I would be out of there and that would be that. Turns out, they were pretty normal, (I say that loosely) and were all very nice. Almost to nice. I went back for some weeks waiting and watching to see if I could figure them out. The group I did was called "Mastering Motherhood". This is when I read the Bible for the first time and realized what it really means to be a Christian. It was then I decided I had made such a mess of my life and if Jesus wanted me then I was going to jump on to His train. I remember taking a deep breath and saying, "Here I am, and I really hope this is for real, because it is my last hope." It truly was my last hope to save both myself from self destruction and our marriage. Needless, to say, it was for real. It wasn't long and I began to change. I learned about what a godly marriage should look like and it made much more sense then any of my own or Hollywood's ideas. I always thought that if Troy was my "soul mate" then things should just naturally flow, so when they didn't I assumed that he wasn't. Fast Forward a few more years-We went to a marriage retreat and worked through some issues and we committed that there would never, no matter what, and I mean no matter what, we would never breath the "D" word again. We would be stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. And here we are. Things are far from perfect and we are still working through old issues that pop there heads up every now and then and working through new issues that seem to arise. 15 years and I can confidently say, "I have found my soul-mate!" He's mine and I'm his. I love him so much and there really is no one else I would rather do this life with. This man of mine has had every reason to up and leave and he didn't. I pushed him and pushed him, but he remained. To say the least, I am forever grateful. I would love to say that there' s not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for him, but there is, because that's the way it works, but today, and for all the September 18th's that will come, I will remember, and be grateful for such a wonderful guy. Thank you Lord for the blessing of Troy. Thank you for the way you work things out. I am amazed at your great love and care for us. We pray our marriage would always be a reflection of your great mercy, grace and a wonder of the work that you do.
Praising God for my Beloved,
Connie
"My lover is mine and I am his;" Song of Solomon 2:16