Romantic Ideas for Your Husband
Romance according to Webster: A long poem or tale, originally written in a
romance dialect, about the adventures of knights. 2. Novel of love, adventure, 3. Excitement, love
4. A love affair.
Is this how you would define your marriage? Or is it more like the trailer from the movie "Date Night"? (1st 30 seconds)
We love this movie, because after awhile that is what romance begins to look like and we need to refresh and reignite the spark that we once had!
Point #1. Practice NOT doing the things he doesn’t like.
Normally flowers and chocolates
are not his idea of romance. A good rule of thumb is that if it makes my heart go pitter patter, then it probably is not the thing to do for him. When he has expressed his dislike
for something stop doing it.
Example: If you have an outfit you like and he has said, "Hmmm, it's not my favorite or that blue shirt reminds me of my grandma." Probably, donate it to a charitable organization, or pass it on to your grandma, she'll probably love it.
Does he love a picked up house,
swept floor, a made bed? Well, then do those things.
Point # 2. Be a GOOD student of your man.
I was blessed early on in my relationship with the Lord with this book, The 5 Love Languages. This really helped me take a good look at myself, my husband and my kiddos. It gives examples of the 5 languages that speak to all of us. They are words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. Knowing him helps to do the things he likes and staying away from the things he doesn't care for. Since were focusing on intimacy you might want to find a time and dig deep for the courage to ask him what his dream lover looks like, than be that. (This idea was from the Intimate Issues conference by Linda Dillow)
Point #3. Be interested in the things he likes.
Being a good student means that you will know what he likes. Now you can do something to really knock his socks off....know something about it and be the one to
open up the discussion on the topic. He will be surprised especially if it is an area that you have in the past expressed some disliking.
Point #4. Be Impressed with him
Watch him and be impressed. The older we get the less people rave about us. You though can do this for your man. When he does something that you are impressed with tell him. Let him know you still admire him like you did in the beginning days of your relationship. It never hurts to say how impressed you are with his strength! You just watch he will beam.
Build him up in front of
others. If your impressed and it is in front of other people, don't miss the opportunity to say. He will stand a little taller.
This is important, try not to override what he
says. It makes them feel inadequate and it is embarrassing. Our guys like to be needed. I know you are a strong woman, but, be a damsel in distress sometimes.
Need him and let him help you.
Point #5. Make yourself available
Be willing to just be in the
same space as he is. When he is doing a project be ready to lend a helping hand. Also, here is a biggie. If you are romancing your husband in such a way and he begins to draw near to you, then you need to be available for him. I understand that sometimes it is more fun to draw the attention of him then when the time comes.....fear or some past ugliness comes up and you go into..."You can't touch this mode!" This is so discouraging for all involved. If you are struggling with past hurt, whether from him or some other thing, then you need to be open and honest about it with your husband and maybe need to get some help to get you through it.
Point #6. Most important …be his lover not his mother.
He has 1 mother and likely a mother-in-law and that is plenty. A lot of us are moms all day long and it can be hard to turn it off, but you need to. If you have trouble recognizing if you are doing that, ask a friend who you trust to tell you if they notice you treating your husband that way.
Your husband wants to be intimate with a woman who is confident and content. This is an area that I think a lot of us woman struggle with. The world sets up unrealistic standards and gives a false idea of intimacy. In order to be that kind of a woman, we need to know what the truth about ourselves and what true romantic intimacy is to look like. So we need to consult the one who created it. God himself! Song of Solomon is a great place to look.
There are other places to and the one other verse that I am going to take the time to address is 1 Corinthians 7:4. Yikes, I know. My husband has full authority over my body. You want romance, give your husband what is his, if you haven't already. Yes, I can hear all the reasons and excuses why we can't or shouldn't, heck, I wrote some of them, but in the end this is what I am told to do and so it must be what is best. Once again, I understand, there may be some healing that has to take place, but you have to start somewhere. Covering this area of your marriage in prayer is so important! One wise prayer could be, "Lord, match up our desires." The Lord is so faithful when we step out.
Romancing our husbands can seem strange. It is not the way we would want to be romanced. We are created differently. It's really about being able to serve our husbands in a way that meets their needs and desires and usually in the mix God does an amazing thing and our needs and desires get met to.
Since the creation of time there has been a Romance story being written. God the Creator of Romance wants us to be a part of it. He has been pursuing a passionate, exciting, and fulfilling relationship with us. He is the ultimate Knight and he has come to rescue us. Are you in need of rescuing? Is your marriage a mess or not what you have hoped for? You can have a "Happily Ever After", when Christ is at the center of your story.
This adventure you and your husband are on will take time. I just encourage you to take the 1st step, then take the next one. It may be very hard at first, but the more you do it, the better it gets.
Here are a few practical ideas: (remember these are just ideas, your man might like something else)
The Out of Towner= “Don’t miss a thing journal”
My husband travels and so I write the things that happen down so he still feels connected and caught up when he gets home. This way I am not bombarding him with a weeks worth of info. and most of the time, it ends up being a bit of a love letter to him.
Facebook flirting or texting
Just make sure it is the correct phone number if you text!
Lunchbox surprise
Notes are easy, but favorite candy or whatever he likes.
Workshirt love notes
Sneak a note in to the pocket of his pants or shirt to find later that day.
Valentines surprise week
Small surprises throughout the week and a finale on the 14th. (start thinking now)
Do a chore for him.
Make the bed, iron shirts, make his lunch
Use SOS as a base line and write something about him and read it at
bedtime. (This may start out awkward and
funny, but end fabulous.)
*When I say write him a note, I mean the kind he wants to read. If you are a good student you will know what trips his trigger. Also, notes that are a bit more passionate, I never used our names, just in case it gets dropped or someone else stumbles upon it by mistake before he finds it. And of course they should always be God honoring!!!!
Blessings, Connie
